Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
