i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
