she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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