Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
