What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
