I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
