They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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