i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I need moral support for this bender
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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