Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
