at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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