I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
