I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
