Welp...herpes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
