oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize