your room smells of hookers.
And success
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
