I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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