you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
