if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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