New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
