Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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