I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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