Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
