what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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