did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
