You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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