Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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