Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
