i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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