I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
