This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
