Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
