My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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