I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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