spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
