New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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