hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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