Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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