You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
