the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
