Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
