Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
