erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
