Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
