i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
