i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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