someone get that fucking seahorse.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
