I need help removing her.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
