Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
