Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
