so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
