dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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