The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
