You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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