have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize