Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
