we made out on top of his cat.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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