toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
