Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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