Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
