You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
