you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize