The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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