i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
