If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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