You made me cry and you don't even care
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
