I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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