I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
